If you want to see your unconscious patterns at work, check out your relationships.
Do you tend to fall for the same sort of person, even though it always ends badly?
Or do you sabotage your relationships once they get serious?
Maybe it’s been a while since you were with someone. That, too, is a pattern.
It’s all because, unconsciously, that’s what you seek. You expect every partner to treat you badly, take you for granted or abandon you, so one of two things happens:
You pursue the sort of partner who does that, or
You get into relationships with ‘normal’ people, but scrutinise everything they do until you find the bad behaviour. If you expect someone to be cruel to you, you can find cruelty in any gesture.
Not every guy is the same. Yet I hear women claim otherwise all the time. Same with men, and gay people, and asexuals.
If everyone you date is the same, then you’re dating the same kind of dud over and over. The common element is you, not them.
This can be a serious problem – something that stops you living a life of happiness… or something that puts you with unsafe partners.
I’m not blaming the victim here.
It’s not your fault because you’re not choosing to do this.
It’s an unconscious pattern.
Or, at least, it was. Now you’re more aware of it.
But knowing about it is only half the struggle. The other half is to change it.
You can force the change. And, sure, sometimes that even works. You decide to go on a date with someone who’s ‘not your type’, you have a blast and realise what you’ve missed for so long.
It doesn’t always work that way, though.
You can date someone truly new – someone who’s good for you on paper – but not feel the spark.
Hey, maybe they’re not really the one for you.
Or maybe your unconscious is getting in your way.
This is where affirmations can help. If you know you have these bad unconscious patterns, you can focus on replacing them with better ones.
You can write and recite everything you want in a partner, over and over.
You’ll recognise when it works because you’ll feel a spark – a real, deeper connection than ever before – with someone you would have ignored before.
By changing inside, you change the results you get.